Disgust replace with Love-Stage 4

Respect

On that hard street I was clean of my sins and had a new found RESPECT for myself. I wasn’t disappointed in myself anymore because I wasn’t sleeping with anyone anymore. I didn’t have to cry myself to sleep and turn from God, feeling like I disobey him again to attend to  my own body lust. The desire for sex was replace with His love.

For a long time I disguised my want for pure love with some one that was never meant for me. Wasting our time with sex. Every time I would engaged in the act, after I would always feel sick. I felt that I needed to burn my skin. I just disobey God. That’s where my anger came from…my meanness came from. I was embarrassed that I gave into my needs. Angry that I wasn’t waiting for my soul mate. I would go to my list:  well my number is still low, or at least he has something off my requirements list, or I wanted 3, 4, 5 months or however long it was before I caved into my need. I know him. It was my choice. These we the things that I made myself be okay with. It was what I needed to tell the junkie in myself I was okay with disobeying God. Once I was pulled off that ground, the old me was left there. I got up knowing I didn’t have to do those things to myself anymore. I didn’t have to hide in shame anymore because God redeemed me. I was free from my addiction. I was set free. God favor was on me. He love me out of my faults. “His favor was greater” than my sins. The word of God said that

“‘I will look on you with favor and make you fruitful and increase your numbers, and I will keep my covenant with you.” Leviticus 26:9