“I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears” (Psalm 34:4).

When I was younger,  fear of the Lord, my parents and heights were my fear. If some asked me to go with them to get a tattoo, I mostly would have walked out with one myself. I didn’t think back then. I was impulsive. So fear didn’t have it kusty palms on me. I just went with the flow. Having caution come at the end of whatever I already had or committed too.

Fear of losing

Fear didn’t start showing up until I begun to gain things I felt I could or didn’t want to lose. A few days ago. My husband and I rented a jet ski. The idea of the jet ski was cool until my husband started planning our day surround around that jet ski. I didn’t want to ride the jet ski anymore. I’ can’t explain why. I just wished my husband would forget about it.

As we went to meet with one rental company and the deal fall through I was relieved. Until my very determine husband made a plan B., I felt my fear turning into angry about how he was so pushy to get this dang jet ski. I started to make excuses to why we should let this plan go.

I realize that it wasn’t riding the jet ski that was stressing my me out. It was the fear of riding the jet. The speed, falling into the ocean had me on edge. I’ve been in the ocean plenty of times. But I was always close enough to reach shore.

Riding Fear

Filling out the paperwork for the jet rental. Only thinking about what I was about to do. How uncomfortable I was feeling. Then it came time to suit up and get riding. My fears were all over the chart. I wanted off that jet. Quietly sitting,  the tour guide pushes us into the water from the dock. My trust in my husband driving skills started to build as we idle out of port into the open sea.

We picked up speed without warning. My husband and I went down the bay with me screaming for him to slow down and pay attention going. With my eye lashes flying up I began to relax some holding on to his life vest with a tight hold.

Our plan or God’s Plan

That how we are with God. We try to put every detail in our program. Thinking that giving God a little bit of our trust with our desire, as we hold on tight to our agenda. Don’t we know how disrespect this is to God? His word clearly says in Proverbs 3:5

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;”

Believing in a God that will never leave you or disappoint you seems so hard for us to do. We rather trust what we can see. Rather believing in a God that made everything possible for us. Because we don’t trust God the way we should. WE give root to fear.

It happed

As we got to the “free range” area, I was grateful for the stop. Keeping in the back of my mind the trip back to port.  I decide the best way to get over my fears was to drive the jet myself. As my husband and I was trading places, it happens.

I fell into the ocean. Bubbling back to the top of the water. I felt my fear disappear. I was angry at my husband for making me fall. Watching him sitting there laughing at me as the tour guide advised me to get him back.

I was over my fear. It happens. I was wet. The water wasn’t as cold or salty as I thought it was going to be. What I worried most about riding on the jet ski happen. Then it happens again.

First time the charm

The first time there wasn’t anything or anyone in my way. I had help from my husband pushing me up on the jet ski from behind. It was easy getting back on.

“An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up” (Proverbs 12:25, NIV).

So I had no fear. Things were going in my favour. I had the boost from a person I could see and feel. I have that verbal encouragement from both my husband and tour guide to know that I was going to make it out the water okay.

Harder = Fear

The 2nd time I wasn’t as fast as I was the first time getting back on the ski. The second time it got harder. I had to pull myself up, kick my legs, feet in the water to give myself some push. I still had a little help from my husband, but he was in my way. My hands swim suit were not super wet. I had no towel to wipe the water off. The seat of the jet ski was wet. Fear of not getting out the water started to sink in.

I pushed it off and grabbed for hope as I tried pulling myself up again. I made it on the back of the jet ski unto on knees.  The usual way I would stand up on my feet when placed on solid ground was not the same skill set I could use standing up on the jet ski.

I shifted my weight to the right the jet went left. If I went left to get up, the jet went right. My fear of going back into the water, starting this getting out task again had now set in. I froze with fear on the back of the jet. I was ready to give up. I was willing to tell the tour guide to get a boat and come back to get me. I didn’t trust that my husband in my husband or the tour guide’s words that I could make it to the set of the jet. I gave in to my fears.

My eyes began to tear up. I was disappointed in myself for giving up. My fear had me bond in that position. Who was fear to have me lock down like this? It got harder to believe in myself. I was tired, ready to give up. In fact, I did give up. I just had the vision of me repeatedly falling back into the water.

I feared in my abilities

Fear had me doubting myself. My ability to get up, to overcome my fear.  I could have given up. Instead, I took a deep breath. My husband and tour guide were still there. Waiting in their position, waiting for me not to give up so we could go. There wasn’t anyone pushing me from behind onto the jet ski. I was the one I had to rely upon allow.

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:6-7)

Then I felt my inner man claiming down. I had to think about it is. When I give into, allow I that fear to steal every chance to trust in God. The reason God says we can cast our fears on him is that he is equipped to handle those things that Fear has turned into.

God believes in me. He made me. He didn’t give up on me. So why should I give up on me. I collected myself balance myself in the center of the jet and pushed myself up and onto the jet seat.

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6

Riding back to port I began to pray. Face buried in my husband back. Thanking God for his mercy. While my husband keeps watch and reports back to me by yelling that we would hit choppy water. So I could brace myself and hold on. My fear again started to dripple of me just as the water was as we picked up speed to reach our group.

One more time for fun

Getting closer to port what I had feared most at the beginning of our ride happen. My husband was yelling choppy water. We were hitting the waves hard. My fear had already been defeat back in the “free range” area. I had no more fears as I was flung off the jet ski skipping sideways across the water like a tossed rock. As I finally landed into the water. I was calm.

My husband drives back around to collect his bride. The tour guide came around the corner. I grabbed the back of the jet ski like a pro. I toss my leg over up on the back of the jet. Determine to get back on so we could get to port without more delay.

Yes despite me giving up on myself the second time I wasn’t going to give up on myself on this third time. I knew I had God with me. I was getting out that water but his strength was with me and empower me to believe in myself. To finishing this ride out.

Faith and Fear aren’t friends

Many times we let Fear become a part of our day. We dine with it. Sleep with it. Believe that our Fears are bigger than our God. I’m here to tell you that trusting God casting those fears aside is the most significant relief program you want to be in.

When you have God, you already gave way to your faith which has released your fears to God. You can’t hold on to fear and think that faith is going to hang around like they are buddies. What has fear done for you lately? I told you what it did for me. Almost had me living with the little mermaid. Fear will no longer be a priority for me. It should be for you as well. I’ll leave you with this. Casting away your Fear allows for God meeting all your needs (Philippians 4:19) and Him giving you strength in everything you do (Philippians 4:13)

I want you to know you can let go of FEAR and step out on FAITH. When it comes to the things you desire to do. You don’t have to stress on the outcome just take the first step: believing enough in God to trust him with the plan he has planned for you. Just like I was getting back on the jet ski he let me  know if I stir right he will stir me back to the center. You can continue your journey and don’t be afraid of what it looks like now just go with the flow to see what your finish will look like with God.