“When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.” 1 Corinthians 13:11

When I was younger, and it was time to go out. My daddy would always warm the car up so that it would be warm for us girls and my mom when we got in it. Or if the vehicle was already hot and everyone was leaving out of the house at the same time he would open the door for my mom, us girls as we got older than himself.

Seeing my father do this for his family, was a trait that I was used to when dealing with a Man. As I began dating I let this quality slide, but I was always checking for it. In my head saying to myself  ‘O he wasn’t taught how to open the door for a lady.”

Or when walking into the restaurant checking to see if the person I was dating at the time would open up the door for me first, step to the side and let me go first. Or the biggest one walking on the outer side of me or when we or entering into the house does he walk ahead of me so that someone can attack me while he is in the house or does my date walk behind me if there is no room to walk beside me to protect us.

Ladies, Chivalry isn’t dead … You just make it easy.

I think as we become mature people our backgrounds, ideas and the very makeup of an individual are altered.  By the things we have seen, done or experience in our lives that if someone we think shows us a little bit of kindness we jump at that moment and hold it tight because how that person made us feel at the time.

We hang on to that feeling when the person is disrespectful to us calling us out of our names. When they look at another individual in a sexual matter right in front of us. When they don’t make you a priority, we hold on to that one real thing that made us for fall for that person, just to have that small hint of love.

Ladies, this is why you have made it easy. You have taken one small act of kindness and transformed it into what you are hoping will become love. Chivalry isn’t dead.

What does Chivalry mean to you versus what it’s like to men!

I have to believe that ALL men know what Chivalry is. There are plenty of examples for a man or woman not to know. Every child knows this when they pick a flower from the ground and give it to their mothers or sisters or a person they like. There are a lot of YouTube videos online that show children giving hugs and kisses to people not to pick up on this signs.

When a man likes you, he will let you know. Not by buying you. Real chivalry will show up. It’s nothing to a man to open up a door for a woman out of courtesy, but it’s something for a man to open up that same door, stand to the side, and make sure your protected as you walk through the door.

Chivalry is protection

Chivalry is not just an act of kindness. It’s love and protection which is the driving force. When I started dating, I would wait to see if my date was going to open my door. If he did, I gave him points, and we moved on to the next thing of chivalry I thought he should do. I made it easy for him to please me with a door opening. I missed the point behind my dad and my uncles opening the door for us as children.

I just thought that what a man does, so that’s what I was expecting. It wasn’t until I started to date my husband that I finally got the point of chivalry.

Date of Protection

One our first date. My husband walked with me all the way to my dorm on the outer side towards the street. With his arms wrapped around me. I felt like ‘dang you’re close, but you get points for chivalry- walking on the outside of me.’

I realize later that he was protecting me with his chivalry. He liked me and wanted to show me that he could and would protect me from anything. Which was true. His protection is what I have seen in my father. My uncles. The men that I saw at church.

Then came us getting into the car. He unlocked the door and made sure I got into the car. (I would say he was drinking in all my beauty) He made sure that my dress was inside the car so that it would not hang out the door, he put on my seat belt making sure I was secure in the car and closed the car door.

Blowing my mind, I found myself unlocking his door because of how safe he made me feel I wanted him to know that if he protects me by opening my door. I can protect him by unlocking his.

Chivalry two-way street.

Why may you ask? Look at it this way. You will go out of your way to protect a man who only unlocks the door for you. While you and your family watch him get into the car without opening the door for you. You just made it easy. I bet you stayed with that man for a minute thinking ‘Well no other person has unlocked my door.

You tell yourself that he is sweet. So in return, you have given him more credit than this man deserves. You have not only given him chivalry points. Now you probably have tossed in your heart, soul and protection for an unlocked door.

Do you know you value?

You family sure does. Even if you can not see. That why in their manner demand or even expect more from you when your dating.

You have gone to bat for this person with your family and friends. Even going as far, as to not speak with them. So hungry to accept anything even this person’s scraps.

“Family and Friends know Chivalry even when you can’t see it.”

But a person settles with leftovers will allow a date to beep the honk at them when he comes to pick you up for a date. Even when your family tells you, he needs to get you from the door when he drives up to your house.

Sweetheart, I say this out of genuine concern. Any woman that allows a date to beep the honk at her and she come running out to answer that call. Will expected anything.

Mama Knows best

I speak from experience when I say I have run out to a few beeped honks. Am I with that person now. NO. Did our relationship last long? Longer than it should had but I went through some things.

I made excuses for his behavior when my mother would say he needs to pick you up from the door. I was ashamed of my actions, so I hid behind my anger for her being in my business.

She was speaking to me out of love. Letting me know I needed to know the value of being treated with respect. A man picking you up from your door should never feel like a chore.  Courting a man of worth will set the foundation of respect for your value.

What man wants a woman he can disrespect with a car honk. I remember dating a man that was driving my car telling me to see how easy it was to get a woman’s attention as he proceeds to beep my honk as we drove down the street. He was right. About half the women that reacted to the noise answered the call.

But my mother was right. All women are valuable gifts from God. A righteous man knows the worth of a real lady.

Genesis 18:19

“For I have chosen him so that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing righteousness and justice..”

The right man for you has to have his house in order to marry you. He has to have his household will align with God. God is not going to bless anyone with trash. He is going to give you his very best.

God’s best

To have God’s best you have to stop turning a small act of kindness into a forever love. You have to know your worth so that God’s right fit for you will find you. You have to stop thinking of Chivalry as dead and stop making things so easy.

You deserve the greatness. Stop treating Chivalry as a death and start expecting the very best.

For this blogs guide please click —->>>>Chivalry Isn’t Dead Guide

Till the next heart to heart….