2009 I  become celibate for a host of reasons: I felt that the man that God had for me couldn’t find me because I was to focus on sex. I had enough sex out of wedlock. I was tired of feeling guilty about sex. I was tired of men coming at me in a sexual manner. So I decide to sacrifice sex and surrender all to God.

Before 2009, I tried several times to become celibate. To wait for who God had for me to marry. But my mind was not made up to surrender all to God and let him have the control.  Each time I tried, I failed. Found myself picking up my old habits: back on the hunt for my mate. Doing the booty call dance. Once angry and disappointed that I was so weak.

It wasn’t until 2009 that I took a real stand in my sex life. I was done with love not leading down the road to marriage but instead leading to more lustful nights. It wasn’t fun for me having endless relationships that resulted in sex. Knowing that this person wasn’t the one God had for me wasting time.

As I started to go back to church, I realize God really loves me. That he had already forgiven me for my sins. I was the one that was holding on to my past. I was the one punishing myself for failing to stay celibate.

Game Changer

Once I knew that God was for me. My state of mind changed. The old me was past and I was looking forward to my future. I stated believing in the love that God had for me. Believing that I was going to be married. I wanted to show God that I was in this walk with him. I was putting skin in the game. Showing God that I was ready to surrender everything to him, ready to try him.